The 167th annual Vankleek Hill Agricultural Fair is in town for the next four days. The VKHAF always starts with a short parade that’s mostly made up of excited kids, ancient tractors and a few horses. As parades go this one ranks behind the Santa Claus parade, and the Horse & Buggy parade, which goes on for almost two hours.
But, mostly because of the kid factor, this one’s probably the sweetest. But then, on Saturday, the demolition derby will bring 5000-8000 people to Vankleek Hill who are basically in town to watch someone burn to death in a plastic, early-90’s, compact car.
There’s also a beer tent and, after it closes for the night, the gentle caress of the smell of urine will waft over downtown as 600 drunken locals walk into downtown from the fair grounds, watering every bush, shrub and tree with the remnants of our local craft brewery.
About as bad as it has gotten since I moved back here was four or five years ago when a bunch of kids set up camp at 2am in the intersection below me, and started screaming and lunging at passing cars. It took me and my half-a-bat (it was mostly the half-a-bat) about five minutes to fix that.
Vankleek Hill never gets too weird, we’re not Detroit, we just get a little annoying once a year. So bring the kids, they can shear a sheep.