My girlfriend is a trampoline bully

Vankleek Hill trampoline tramp

That’s my girlfriend* standing over her oldest son as he tries to crawl away, frightened and nearly broken from an onslaught of uncontrolled bouncing. Once again she roars “victory” over her latest trampoline conquest, before discarding his body to the unkempt lawn below.

I’m not sure why Diane’s family has a fascination with trampoline’s. Whenever I get on one all I can see are the giant metal springs ready to cleave my genitals from my body. Andrew — who, in the photo, is actually laughing himself into hyperventilation and a heart condition — is carrying on the tradition. The kid likes to bounce.

Diane’s parents have one in their yard as well. She found this one at a garage sale. I really don’t get it… body goes up, body comes down, repeat until genitals severed from body, or body becomes exhausted. And I can’t believe ‘competitive trampolining’ is an Olympic sport.

*Diane’s not a bully, I just take photos that make her look that way.

Vankleek Hill Photos copyright

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