First, this photograph is awesome… and it’s a self-portrait, so not only did I create the awesome, I am the awesome. Awesome.
Second, the headline does not do justice for how much more insanely hot my dentist is than your hot dentist.
Third, she was in the process of pulling a giant tooth out of my face when I took this photo… which was a self-portrait.
Fourth, I took this photo — a self portrait with a hot dentist pulling a massive tooth out of my face — using a camera with no image stabilization feature.
Fifth, let me know where to pick up the award for best self-portrait incorporating a ridiculously hot dentist *pulling a tooth from my face*.
Last, I do have an appearance fee, and there should be no green M&M’s within five miles of the hotel.