You’d have to invent an entirely new season to find a time when my village’s Main Street didn’t look spectacular. Maybe that’s why this has been the centre of the poorest region in Canada for the past forty years. Seriously… why would a politician think things need to change, if this is the photo on the cover of the briefing notes saying things need to change?

40% functional illiteracy rate (in English)? C’mon? Really? There? 30% unemployment? Look at that architecture. The highest rates (percentage) of abuse, addiction and mental illness in Canada? Surely that’s hogwash… damn, look at how pretty the town is, I think I’ll send my kids to school there.

It’s a curse. We’re like 2009, pre-plastic surgery Lindsay Lohan. We look great, we can still function in front of the camera, but seriously, we’re a car wreck away from burning the whole fucking thing to the ground.