I used to take my kids to the river side to feed the ducks and seagulls.

It seemed harmless enough, I mean every other episode of Peppa Pig had Peppa and her friends feeding ducks bits of cake.

Even after the local bylaw enforcement people put up signs warning people not to feed the ducks, we kept going down to the Ottawa River and feeding them a loaf or two of white bread and/or popcorn.

Because, you know, fuck the man and all that.

Then I found out feeding birds bits of bread is a really bad idea. Turns out bread is like junk food for birds, feed them enough and they end up on the couch all day playing Fortnite… I guess it also means that Peppa Pig has been lying to my kids all along.

…we tried bringing birdseed to the river, but that turned out to be the bird equivalent of vegetables.

So now we hardly ever go down to the River, which is too bad… for us, not the ducks.

…anyway, here’s an oldish photo of me giving a seagull heart disease. Unintentionally of course.

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