How to fake an orgasmic sunset without PhotoShop

another Vankleek Hill sunset

First, make sure you’re using a camera that’s small enough to get lost in your pocket. I’ve been using my girlfriend’s tiny Pentax Optio E90 for the past two weeks while I wait for a back-to-school sale at Future Shop or Best Buy to replace the camera I destroyed… uhm, two weeks ago.

The thing about tiny cameras… they have very few features to get in the way of the shot. Plus, it takes very little to confuse their tiny computers. I could never get this shot with my Samsung WB600 — even before I dropped it into a puddle of salt water, chlorine and kid urine.

Both photos in the split image below are from the Pentax, the left side is with the exposure and focus set on the street, everything on the right is set on the clouds.

So… to get this shot:

1. Buy your girlfriend a replacement camera for the previous camera you gave her that was crushed when she fell on some ice
2. Wait a year
3. Bring your $350 camera to a waterpark
4. Drop it in salty, heavily chlorinated urine-water
5. Borrow the replacement camera, give your girlfriend the Cisco Flip you own for some reason
6. While standing on my balcony, set the camera on “Landscape”
7. Point at clouds, half depress the trigger, give the camera a few seconds to figure things out
8. Point at sun, and shoot… actually, at this point it should be raining
9. Repeat 1-8 until you get the shot you want.

another fake Vankleek Hill sunset

Vankleek Hill Photos copyright

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6 thoughts on “How to fake an orgasmic sunset without PhotoShop

  1. part of it my fault.I bought one at zellers for 75% off without checking it out online. for a 12megapixel camera, the pics all look low-res. It also is one that you hold down the button so it focuses then press all the way down and it takes the pic. If you just press the button, it focuses and then does S.F.A. It annoyed me so much I threw it against the wall. I cracked the LCD so now I can’t change any settings. that was my fault. Also the software that comes with doesn’t play any audio for the videos. if you access it directly through the card there’s audio. Hannelore uses her iPhone for pictures now, so I have our old canon back. The olympus is a X-42. I’m sure they’re not all bad. but I got what I paid for… Oh, and with No LCD you can’t see what you’re taking a picture of. Again, that’s my fault. I should have avoided all throwable gadgets last year when my brain was weaning itself off of the sugar. I also lost a phone by throwing it against a wall. luckily my laptop was a little too heavy.

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    • Yes, throwing technology against a wall is bad… the short term relief, however, sometimes makes it worth it… checked YouTube, and the first comment I found about the Olympus X42 was:

      (sic) “shitiest camera i have ever used. noise like i have never experienced- during daytime inside at 100 ISO. zoom is bad. scn modes are just for show. haha, mine was a gift as well, but i just put it aside and used my dads eos 300D xD”

      We should all have a father with an extra Canon EOS 300D laying around. School sales are on right now, might be a good time to grab a new one.

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  2. Oh yeah, the SD card was a microSD that came in some other adapter that doesn’t fit in any card reader know to humanity. so to get the pics off the cars I take it out of the camera, then out of the adapter, put it it a normal MicroSD adapter then in a card reader.

    I always thought Olympus were not bad, but this is the first one I’ve owned. I just remember them as one of the first on the market with digital cameras. I’m going to stick with the canon, which I think is a powershot A45?

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    • I had the same card problem… went out and shot an assignment, 800 photos later I realize I’ve lost the USB cable that attaches my camera to the computer, and the card reader in my computer can’t read the card. I had to use Diane’s camera to upload everything because, for some reason, her tiny $100 camera can read the card my $400 and $1750 machines can’t.

      I’m using a Canon SX240HS, and (except for a tiny lens) it’s just about perfect. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants a DSLR, but doesn’t want to carry a camera bag with them everywhere.

      http://www.photographyblog.com/reviews/canon_powershot_sx240_hs_review/

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